I have simply accepted that my death will come 1st rather than my liberation.
What makes it even worse is that my family is so JW hardcore that I'm dragged in to take part in assemblies, traveling around, Warwick crap.
In my old age, I'm hanging on to sanity by a thin thread. I fantasize with one evening telling hubby that I just want a different life without the Organization and just dealing with whatever comes afterwards.
It's just a fantasy as I'm too old to start all over. What's coming next for me is illness/death, and to be alone without help for those events is not acceptable.
DY